Thursday, February 21, 2008


Two days ago, a woman from the Health and Safety Department came to tell me that the next morning I had to go for a medical check-up. It's a wide institutional thing that was going on for months. The place is quite far away from Madrid, but she assured me there was a Metro station around. Well, suicidally walking on the Fuencarral motorway it took about 20 minutes to get there. While totally hungry because of the coming blood tests and already fed up, the day turned out to be one of the funniest days in Madrid. The reason was the nurse who was performing all the tests on me. At first, she tried to attach the "octopus" 12-lead EKG device on my chest. As soon as she attached 4 electrodes and tried to attach the rest, the first four fell off. This battle continued for about 10 minutes and I already started to laugh. After she brought some magic adhesive gel and the situation hadn't changed, I was laughing so much that the electrodes would have to be attached by a Superglue not to fall off. I had to take a five minute break. Then we continued in an acoustic anechoic chamber when I was supposed to hear something in the headphones that might remember El Caudillo. She described the sound I was supposed to hear as "toot", but not "beep". Well, in this special isolated cabin I could hear the doctor speaking across 2 walls but nothing out of those antique headphones. As a result, I am officially sordo now. Then we continued with lung capacity tests. I swear I tried really hard and after six attempts to satisfy her, she said that it could be finally OK, but then she wasn't able to print the last successful result. I was leaving the room with diaphragm spasms.
The further illustrate the hilariousness of that place, the doctor reminded me of Dr. Kylie Johnson from MADtv:

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